Learning.

A few of my sweet friends here in Kigali and I decided we should take the weekend and go to this place called Kibuye. It is about three hours away and is found snuggled up next to Lake Kivu. Lake Kivu is beautiful and greeted us each morning all dressed in a glimmering bluish green. It is a beautiful place, Kibuye. Definitely a place you want to go to find rest and just sit in the beauty of God's creation and goodness, which is exactly what us friends did. We spent the weekend just hanging out together, taking boat rides, watching movies, reading, journaling, praying together, learning about one another, and just reflecting on the lives God has laid out before us. Through my dear friends and the conversations we were able to have I continue to learn. I continue to learn God is placing themes in my life and is always at work on me. Recently, I have been learning that in life whether I realize it or not, I some times say yes to Satan and some of the lies he whispers in my ears. As Christians, we try so hard to focus on truth, to pray, and to find ourselves literally on our knees before God, yet some times missing that some of our pains, our struggles, and insecurities have come from saying yes to those dark, fleeting, and insecure thoughts we think and feel in our weakest moments. For me, this weekend I began to realize and God began to shed some light on some of these "yes' " in my life. One of the biggest things I have said yes to is the feeling of I am not good enough. Not good enough to lead, not good enough to be in the presence of certain people, not good enough to be pursued, not good enough to be where I am doing the work I am called to do. We all experience these moments. Some times, like my one friend this past week, we experience them in our weakest moments where we are sick or physically run down. Thankfully, there is hope. Thankfully, even in our weaknesses and in those moments where we have began to believe those defeating thoughts, God has a BIGGER yes for us. Thankfully, God takes those moments where he has given us the wisdom to realize these weaknesses and says get up again, lets attack this together. Thankfully God allows light to be shed and these "yes' " to come to surface so he can continue to take us from where we are today to the place he wants us to be tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. God does not give up on us, God does no give up on me, God does not give up on the people of Rwanda. God does not believe those lies we often believe and/or think about ourselves. He absolutely sees us as beautiful and a work in progress. He sees us as his child. Praise Jesus, we can live for a God who sees exactly how we are, as we want to be seen. He sees us in his image. Praise Jesus, we can live for a creator who loves us and has a greater life and plan for us then we have for ourselves. I am so thankful for these things. I am so thankful we can come to God and ask for strength, ask for courage. Our past does not have to be our future. As one of my friends shared with me... "may I be as confident as I am about my past as I am about my future because Christ has already written it." I pray for you and I pray for me, that God would give us the strength and courage to not believe those lies, but to believe the truth about who He says we are. I pray God will continue to shed light on our lives and turn us into people who are full of freedom, joy, and a desire to just live for Him and Him alone.